We decided not to go to Germany. The reward for the risk was not clear enough for us.
We have this saying in our family, “We just need to get to….” It tends to show up when someone, usually Kieran and sometimes me, is overly excited or nervous…
This was not the future we envisioned or dreamed of for our child. What we had taken for granted was no longer certain. In fact, we were being told by the experts that it was not possible. People where telling us to give up, to let go.
The diagnosis of our unborn baby was a tornado that came out of nowhere and changed that. We had no warning, no preparation, and no knowledge of what that tornado was. It felt like a freight train coming right at us so loud I could not hear any other noise. The tornado made a direct hit. Everything was wiped away except for the two of us standing looking around asking ourselves, “What do we do now?”
On December 26th we had our twenty-two week appointment with the prenatal doctor and ultrasound with the technician. Our biggest concern at that appointment was whether we should find out the sex of our baby. Luckily, both of us agreed, we wanted it to be a surprise. We were relaxed, happy, and nicely tan. Our Mexican trip was spent on the beaches of Isla Mujeres.
I learned more in the first minute of Kieran’s life than I learned the rest of my life combined. To get what we want, we must step into what we fear most. Expose ourselves to the world so that we can connect as humans to align and support each other to achieve what we say we want most, whatever that is for each of us. It begins with each of us.